Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Substitute

Tonight at church, we went to Wednesday Night Supper.  We have a catered meal and different types of programs for all ages.  Knox has handchimes and JAMS while I usually do handbells.  It is a very casual night.

It's always a great time to fellowship and enjoy a great meal!  Hamp really enjoys running around and smiling at everybody!  He loves just walking around with the other kids and climbing on the big soft chairs.  Knox really enjoys all the kids programs and I sometimes don't see him until it's time to leave.

I love just sitting back and watching Hamp!  You can really see his personality come out.  You also see how quickly he can bring smiles to the crabbiest faces.

There is one thing that I have noticed...he is drawn to older men.

I find this really cute but completely sad at the same time.

You see, both of the boys grandfathers are deceased.  Hubby's daddy, Poppa, 5 years ago and my daddy, Granddaddy, 4 years ago.  Knox was a Poppa and Granddaddy's boy.  He went everywhere with them!  He adored them and they adored him.  It was really hard on Knox when they both died within a year of each other. 

But Hamp was born after they had both passed.  There is nothing that makes me sadder than the fact that Hamp will never know his grandfather's.  Just writing this causes me to cry.  It breaks my heart that his grandfather's will never get the chance to spoil him like they did Knox.

I grew up with all of my grandparents. I spent as much or more time with them than I did with my parents.  I adored my grandparents and miss them immensely!  There is such a bond between a grandchild and grandparent that can never happen between child and parent.  I don't know who needs each other more, grandparents or grandchildren.

But tonight at church, I noticed that Hamp kept going to a few older men in the crowd.  They were all grandfathers.  It was like he was sensing the fact that they were and were seeking them out.

I just kept thinking that I wish Hamp could have a grandfather to hold him, play with him, and just love him!  I so wish that he and Knox had grandfather's to just go to the store with or to build something with.  Hamp will never have a reason to learn the words, "Poppa" or "Granddaddy".  He will only have pictures to know these men by and the memories of his brother, Moma and Daddy, and grandmothers.

I started to wonder if Hamp was sensing my emptiness for him and was trying to find someone to fill that void. 

How do you ask someone to be a grandfather to your boys?  Who do you ask?  How do you pick?   These are questions that you just ever think you'll ask.

You don't pick family--God gives them to you!

So how do you pick someone to replace the most prefect men you knew?  Where do you find all the qualities that your boys are missing in someone else?

I guess that's what Hamp was doing--trying to find that perfect man to call his substitute grandfather.

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  1. Well said. Maybe there is not just one for Hamp but several. You are a great Mama!

  2. It is too bad that Hamp won't know a grandfather but I really don't know how to go about finding a substitute. Maybe there are some activities that include males of all ages in your area that works like a kind of mentor ship? Hope you can find something. Come visit when you can.


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